Never tell a Texan his dog is too skinny.

Never drive in Houston after 2 p.m.

Never drive in Houston at all.

Always say “Howdy” to anyone who says “Howdy” to you.

Never say anything about anybody unless asked.

Never eat anything that’s “a little spicy.”

Never covet a woman whose husband’s name is Billy Roy or Roy Dell.

Never ask for the “soup du jour” in a town of less than 50,000 population.

Never use the word “marvelous” in any establishment that serves liquor.

Never go deer hunting with business associates when a deal is being negotiated.

Never ask to see the top of a stranger’s boots.