Don’t order Fettuccine a la moo goo in Waco.

Don’t mess with anyone on a Texas freeway. Texans are already mad at the combustion engine and concrete, a yell or gesture is taken uite seriously.

Don’t call a RO-dee-O a ro-Day-o.

Don’t walk on an unknown beach without shoes. Chemical and acids on the beach can give you a nasty footburn.

Don’t rub your eyes after you’ve been handling hot peppers, unless you like pain.

Avoid large groups and stay away from cowboys with no necks.

Avoid taking any kind of bet.

Don’t ride any animal that’s described as frisky, insist on a horse over twenty years old.

Don’t pick wildflowers growing by the highway, they don’t belong to you or to mother nature, they belong to the Texas Highway Department and they don’t take kindly to people killing their flowers.

Don’t speed in Nolanville, Texas. The entire town is a speed trap. CB, radar detector, EPL plates, artificial legs, nothing will save you.

Don’t eat in anything call a restaurant or that has the aura of a franchise.

Don’t cross a fence unless you know whose land your on. It’s not terribly hard to get shot for trespassing on some ranches if you’re the boisterous type.